My husband Louie and I are celebrating our 30th wedding anniversary this weekend. Thirty years is a long time. We’ve been through a lot together. Some tough times and some truly wonderful times. There was a time I didn’t think we were going to make it. I’m guessing anyone in a relationship that’s stood the test of time has experienced the same thing.
As I reflect back on why we have made it a few things come to mind.
When we got married it was about being together, it was not about the wedding. My daughter and I sometimes watch Four Weddings and Say Yes to the Dress on TLC. These reality TV shows are about getting married. But so often when I hear the comments by the women who are featured they’re about the wedding. It’s all about the dress, the venue, and the reception. I’ve got news for you, that’s all just stuff. It’s not what the day is about.
I was only 19 years old when I said “I Do.”
Most people thought I was too young. How could I make such a big commitment?
I didn’t look at it that way. If I had, the enormity of it probably would have scared me away. I’m not saying it wasn’t about forever. It absolutely was. But when it came down to it, it was about being together. Creating and building a life. Being best friends. Spending our time… initially days and ultimately years, with each other. It was about us, not the wedding, not the dress, not the venue, not the flowers, not the reception. Sure, those things were nice, but they were definitely not the focus.
As I look back it’s hard to believe it’s been 30 years.
A lot has changed. Sure, we’ve both grown… grown up really! But one thing hasn’t changed. We are still best friends. We are still the first person the other turns to when something wonderful, or terrible happens. We fight. We get angry. But we work it out. Because we know we’re in it for the long haul, and we don’t expect it to be perfect. Yet in many ways, it is.