The Spell is Broken

BTSchain

I struggled with whether or not to write this post.

In my heart, I knew I should. I have an important message to share. In my head, I had concerns. What would people think, particularly my clients or prospective clients?

In the end, my heart won. I’m in a place in my life where I’m experiencing great change, change I know will make my next 50 years much more peaceful and fulfilling than the last 50. Not that I regret a day of the last 50 years, but I’ve grown so much this year that I can’t imagine living another day in my old mindset. I feel compelled to share what I’ve learned with others so they too can benefit (that’s the main reason I’m writing my book, too).

So here goes…

As you may know, for the past six months I’ve been researching and writing my latest book, Breaking The Spell. What you may not know is that I’ve basically been on sabbatical from my business during that time. I made a choice to stop marketing my services and pursuing clients so I could focus on my book. It felt right, albeit a little bit scary. I’ve always made a good living. In fact, for as long as I can remember I’ve earned more than my husband. And, as I’ve learned in the process of writing my book, my self-worth has been tightly connected to my level of success and the amount of money I make (money for me has been a form of measurement).

I’m guessing you can imagine what happens when you stop marketing, and more importantly, when you make a decision you don’t want any new clients. Not surprisingly, you stop getting clients and the money flow stops.

As a result, my business income has all but dried up.

One of my biggest fears has manifested. And you know what? It’s okay. The world didn’t end. I’m not homeless, and am not anywhere near becoming homeless. I don’t feel like a fraud. I don’t feel unworthy. All of the fears that I had previously connected with not making a six-figure income did NOT materialize.

In fact, something else amazing has happened instead.

I feel FREE! I feel HAPPY. Happier than I’ve been in a long time. Not because I’m not making money. In fact, it has absolutely nothing to do with money. I feel happier because I’m doing work I feel inspired to do and I’m not so focused on the money side of the equation. I’m just doing the work, and thoroughly enjoying it. And, from the feedback I’m receiving, I’m making an impact on others, which is something that’s very important to me.

It’s not that I’m not working.

I’m working every day, doing research and writing. And, it’s very challenging work. The difference between now, and how I’ve worked in the past, is my motivation is coming from a different place.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not ready to quit my business or give up trying to make money or be successful.

But at the same time, I’m no longer driven by the pursuit of money and success. Instead, I’m driven by my purpose and what makes me happy. It’s a very different place for me. I admit, there have been plenty of times over the last six months that I’ve found myself worrying about the future and I’ve had to stop myself from going back into “create a business and make money mode.” It was tempting as I saw the income start disappearing. And, I know how to do that. It’s been my “go to” mentality for years.

However, I can honestly say that’s just not my priority right now. And I feel totally at peace when I say that, and do it. That is a big switch for me!

For the first time in probably close to 30 years, I feel like I have truly broken the spell that money and success had cast on me.

I knew when I set out to write my book, Breaking The Spell, I would likely have to fully experience the process in order to finish writing the book. I can now say that I have fully experienced it. I have broken free. And, not surprisingly, just in time to finish writing the book. All the more reason to trust the Universe. The timing is always perfect!

In the last few months, plenty of ideas for where to take my business in the future have surfaced. I am just beginning to plan for, and implement some of those ideas now.

I’m also very grateful for the clients that did choose to work with me this year and for the big chunk of last year’s income that I put into my savings account. Both enabled me to continue supporting my family while taking this sabbatical. I’m also very grateful for my supportive husband who has encouraged me to “do what I need to do” and not worry about the money. He’s kept me going when I’ve felt like it might just be easier to go back to business. Of course, he knew better!

This experience has also caused me to consider more carefully what I’m spending money on. I’ve re-evaluated our family’s spending and have cut unnecessary expenses that quite frankly, I probably would have continued to mindlessly incur had I not gone through this experience. And we’re not even noticing the difference! I know going forward I will be much more mindful of my spending, regardless of how much money I’m making.

I have a very strong sense that next year is going to be amazing.

I know I’ll start earning money again, perhaps even a lot of it. But it’s no longer how I plan to keep score. I have changed and I know I will never run my business, or my life, the same way again.

For that transformation I will be eternally grateful. Making the decision to begin following inspiration a year ago is the best decision I could have made. In many ways it saved me. It’s been scary and challenging. But I have grown as a person. And I don’t plan to ever go back to my old way of being.

It’s far too peaceful and exciting here. Now my mission is to invite others to join me!

About Debbie

After spending 32 years in marketing, Debbie now spends her time blogging, teaching online courses, doing volunteer pet therapy, and encouraging others to follow a more inspired path through life.

12 comments on “The Spell is Broken

  1. Wow Debbie, what a eye opening experience you’ve had. You are very brave to share this with everyone. Thank you for all the help and support you’ve provided me as a client and friend. I’m excited to hear what is coming around the corner for you.

    Have a wonderful Christmas and New Year to you and your family.

    Michi

  2. You’re welcome Michi. While it’s been a bit crazy and scary, it’s also been very freeing. I am so grateful for your support and friendship. I hope you and your family have a wonderful holiday and I truly wish you all the best in the coming year.

  3. You’re welcome Crystal! And happy holidays to you and your family. 2012 will be a brand new journey for you. I hope you approach it with excitement and curiosity. You have the potential to help a lot of women if you keep following your heart! The foundation is set and ready to support you.

  4. Debbie, thank you for sharing your personal journey. It is undeniable that as women begin to enter their 50’s they feel the stirring to quesion many aspects of their lives. Some women ignore these stirrings and end up with chronic conditions and loads of unhappiness. Others open themselves up to the prospect of living their lives on their own terms (I shun the word authentic d/t it’s overuse). My journey started over 10 years ago (I’m a slow drifter) of questioning how I lived my life, spent my money and time, my purpose, etc. I went back and forth from my desires to society norms. This year I can say that I have found my place by embracing my innate strengths and desires. My journey led me to my roots, focusing on helping women (in mid-life) to become healthier through nutrition. I couldn’t be happier and feel more connected than I have in a long time. Working with women in menopause – it’s a powerful time and it is creating a nation of women with power. I can’t wait to see your next pathway! Happy Holidays and have a smashing New Year!

  5. Bonnie,
    Congratulations on finding your roots this year. That is what it feels like, doesn’t it? Roots. Real, grounded, and part of who you are. And sometimes you really have to dig them up to find them! Blessings for the holidays and in the New Year!

  6. Debbie, congratulations on following your heart. I have always seen you as very brave, so it’s easy for me, being on the outside, to see you take this big step. But then, often it’s others that have the confidence in us more than we have in ourselves when we take bold new steps, isn’t it?
    I’m looking forward to your book, and wishing you all the best for 2012!
    Lisa

  7. Thank you Lisa. I truly appreciate your support and admiration. It certainly does help to know others are behind you when you’re stepping out in challenging territory! And, I have received so much support over the past few years as I’ve been on this crazy journey. I will never take that support for granted, that is for sure. I’m so grateful we met back in 2009 and I hope that all is going well for you. May 2012 bring you everything you desire!

  8. Hi Debbie!

    I felt so happy to read your post and I´m very glad that you shared your thougths and journey openly instead of keeping it to yourself. I can totally relate to Bonnies comment about being a slow drifter 🙂 Every word could have been written by me…
    It´s inspirational for all other women outhere who contemplate on the same matters but who doesn´t dare follow their inspiration and do something you did, Debbie! Congrats to that! Kind of set thing in motion for me for year 2012…
    I´m also grateful that you honestly shared about your financial preparations so you could have these year off because that is also a part of the equation. I´ve signed up for the Breaking the Spell tribe and look forward to the book!
    Warm greetings from
    Carina in Finland

  9. Carina,

    I’m glad the post resonated with you. About sharing my financial preparations… I do feel that is important. We do need to be financially responsible and I would have never left my family in the lurch to “follow my dreams.” While I didn’t save up to finance the sabbatical, because I didn’t know I was going to be taking it, I did make a decision in 2010 to pay off all my debt and rebuild my savings, after spending way too much on my quest for success for the previous 7 years. And, it’s a good thing I did because it gave me the cushion to do what I did this year, even though I haven’t tapped the savings yet, it’s nice to know it’s there.

    I did the same thing when I left the corporate world to start my own business nearly 14 years ago. I made sure I had enough money in the bank to carry me before I quit my job. I’m all for following your dreams, but I do also think sometimes people put themselves and their families in financial hardship in the process, and that’s just not something I could have done. Thankfully I didn’t have to!

    So happy to have you as a member of the tribe. I hope you enjoy the free chapters!

    All my best,

    Debbie

  10. There’s nothing like turning 50 to encourage evaluation of one’s life and goals. I commend you for following your heart and discovering where your passions and commitments lead. You sound calm and fulfilled, and the journey will continue…

  11. Thanks Beth. You know I went through a similar, albeit smaller, evaluation four years ago when my oldest moved away to college. There is something about major milestones that prompts us to re-evaluate our lives. I’m just glad I chose to honor the nudge four years ago and this year. I’m sure I’d be in a very different (and probably not better) place had I chosen to ignore it. I also realize as you point out, that the journey is far from over!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *