Let Go & Trust became my mantra seven years ago.
After spending nearly 50 years firmly planted in the driver’s seat, attempting to control everything and everyone around me, and suffering the consequences, I realized I had to make a change. I wrote about this in a blog post four years ago and have repeated some of that post below. Partly because it explains it the best way I know how, and partly because it’s reassuring looking back from where I stand now, and realizing all of the wonderful things this new way of life has ushered in.
I was a “make it happen” kind of gal.
Come hell or high water, if it was going to be it was up to me. I burned out a couple of times living this way.
Yes, I achieved success, but at a cost.
And, I was never quite satisfied where I was. I was always seeking higher achievement and greater success. And, maybe more significantly, believing it was all on me to make it happen. It was exhausting and it finally came to a screeching halt at the end of 2009. I became clear what I was doing wasn’t working, and it was time for a change.
I began to let go.
I let go of things having to look a certain way.
I let go of the idea that my business success is what defined me, or made me a worthy person.
I let go of the idea that I had to make it all happen.
I let go of control and decided to just be open, and trust the Universe, God, Spirit, a higher power, my higher self (call it whatever you like).
It was scary.
Like letting go of the steering wheel and praying the car doesn’t crash.
I didn’t have a plan and I didn’t know what was going to happen. Foreign territory for me.
It was unsettling, because suddenly I wasn’t working so hard. Driving so furiously toward success. I was comfortable going 100 with my hair on fire. Letting someone else drive me in the slow lane not so much. It definitely took some adjustment. And all the while I felt restless. Like I should be doing more. Downshifting was a totally new sensation.
But after awhile I settled in.
I became comfortable in this new state. I wrote my book, Breaking The Spell. Started blogging. And watched my life begin unfolding in a whole new way.
Clients still showed up, albeit a little further and far between because I wasn’t actively marketing. But that was OK. I was taking a bit of a mental health break. A sabbatical if you will. To figure out what I wanted to do next.
Money kept showing up, often from unexpected places.
I was no longer making a six-figure income but we were just fine. We simplified our lives. Sold off our investment properties. Paid off all our debt. I felt a sense of freedom. Ironically I’d spent years chasing financial freedom, thinking more money was the key. Turns out I was wrong. Yes, money is a part of it, but so is not spending every cent you make trying to achieve greater and greater levels of success.
Through all this, I began to realize I didn’t have to figure it all out. If I was open, the answers would very often show up. So, I just kept asking how I could best serve, and being willing to step into the opportunities that presented.
This downtime helped me see I really wanted to teach.
I wasn’t sure who I would teach, or how, or where. I simply set an intention. Shortly after, an email landed in my inbox inviting me to teach on Udemy, an online video training platform I’d not heard of previously. After checking it out I decided to step into it, and what has unfolded in the seven months since then has been a real gift. My business is being transformed in a way that truly suits how I want to serve and spend my time, and in a way that is enabling me to help hundreds of people every month, instead of just a handful.
In February I also lost my dog.
It was heart-breaking, but what unfolded after has also been life-changing. Our little puppy, Hope, showed up (her name is no accident!). Over the past seven months she too has ushered in all sorts of positive change. She’s made me laugh every day through some difficult life situations. She’s helping me rebuild a circle of local friends who have nothing to do with business and success, but who are just nice, normal people who love dogs. And, maybe most surprising, she’s helped me discover that doing therapy dog work is the next step in my life. And, with my business evolving the way it is, I will have the time to do this, something that wouldn’t have been possible with my old business.
There are many more examples of wonderful opportunities, synchronistic events, and magic that has unfolded since I wrote that blog post four years ago.
Suffice it to say the more I remember to Let Go & Trust, the more I’m rewarded with wonderful opportunities, synchronicities, and the life I was chasing for so long, but that always seemed just out of reach.
It hasn’t been an easy transition.
As a lifelong overachiever, it’s been challenging at times to let go and be patient. Waiting for things to show up instead of trying to make them happen. However, it’s definitely been worth it. I know I’m in a different place in my life and my career because of it. A place that rings true for me. A place I believe I am meant to be, doing work and serving others as I know in my heart I’m meant to serve.
Yes, I do have a great big vision for the next chapter in my life.
It showed up as soon as I let go of my previous chapter and opened up space (funny how that always happens!) It will continue to require trust and following the inspired path I’ve been on for the past seven years. And I know it may not unfold exactly as I see it, and I’m OK with that. Because if the last seven years have taught me anything, it’s that learning to Let Go & Trust is the best way to end up exactly where you’re supposed to be.