Shades of Gray

I’ve always been a very black and white person.

For me, things are right or wrong. You go all out or you do nothing at all. There’s an edge to living this way that enables you to accomplish a lot, but can be viewed by others as harsh or uncaring. And, it’s how I’ve lived most of my life… until now.

As I’ve been writing about on this blog, my life has been shifting over the past few years into a more peaceful and calm place.

I have been learning the all-or-nothing approach may not always be the best.

As friends have remarked, I have been softening. There’s a time I would have been offended by that comment. I didn’t want to be soft. Soft felt weak. I wanted to be strong, determined, and powerful.

I now see there is a place for that strong energy and there is also a place for the soft energy.

And life is better when we learn to integrate both. When we learn to let go of always having to be in charge, always having to be right, and always having to have things go our way.

While some things may require an all or nothing approach, I am now very clear life itself is not an all or nothing endeavor. It’s a dance. A journey of ups and downs. Strong and soft. Pushing and letting go. Giving and receiving. And sometimes all of those things at once.

Rigid and controlling is a tough way to live.

Can you accomplish a lot? Absolutely! Is it an enjoyable ride? Only when things go your way.

Do you build powerful symbiotic relationships along the way? Not likely. If you’re always pushing, it tends to push people, and opportunities, away.

I’m learning to love the color gray and all it’s beautiful shades.

There is not always a definitive right or wrong, there’s merely a choice.

I’m accepting that things are not always crystal clear, sometimes they need to just work themselves out.

I’m learning to be patient, to allow, to accept, and to love more unconditionally.

I’m not sure how it will all turn out. And you know what, for the first time in my life, that’s okay.

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