Why is it whenever we’re trying to make a big decision, we end up in a battle between heart and head?
Your heart urges you to dive in headfirst.
You feel inspired. It feels good. It feels right.
And then, your head gets into the game and spoils all the fun.
It begins analyzing the decision and brings up all the reasons it’s not a good idea. It reminds you of everything that could go wrong. It brings up the fear of making a mistake. Of future regret.
I’ve dealt with this battle with just about every major decision I’ve made in my life. And the more fear a decision brings up, the greater the battle.
I’ve come to realize the heart is only concerned with one thing: feeling good.
It’s optimistic. It doesn’t worry about the potential downside. It lives in the present moment. It doesn’t walk 10 minutes or 10 miles or 10 years down the road worrying about what might happen. Its only job is to steer you in the direction of feeling good, now.
The head, on the other hand, is your protector.
Or so it believes. It doesn’t like change. Change involves risk. It likes the comfort zone. It will do everything in its power to keep you there. Because at the end of the day, the head needs to feel safe and secure.
There’s a place for safety and security. But at what cost?
This is your one life.
Your chance to live to your heart’s content.
To experience all life has to offer. To have adventures. Try new things. Meet new people. Make mistakes. Learn, and grow.
Because I’m pretty sure, if all we do is play it safe, we will have regrets.
Will we make mistakes if we follow our heart?
But we’ll make mistakes if we play it safe, too.
They’ll just be different mistakes.
Perhaps, if we refuse to label anything as a mistake, but instead as an experience that gave us feedback and taught us something, we can be more open to accepting the challenges our heart brings forth.
And stepping into them, despite the trepidation.
Don’t Think. Don’t Think. Don’t Think.
Years ago, at a T. Harv Eker seminar, I remember hearing this mantra, “Don’t Think. Don’t Think. Don’t Think.” The logic being if we truly want to grow, we need to get out of our head and take risks. We need to stop letting our mind talk us out of things that scare us. We need to follow our heart and go for it.
I do think there’s a place for the head’s warnings. I don’t think it’s wise to throw caution to the wind and take unnecessary risks.
But at the same time, I do believe we miss out on life if we let our mind constantly call the shots.
I’ve made many big decisions in my life.
My mind has always been great at looking at all the cons. Seeing the glass-half-empty side of the equation. I’m certainly guilty of paying too much attention to this cautious voice. And, I know it holds me back.
I usually end up following my heart in the end.
But I tend to hang on to the status quo a little too long, until the discomfort of staying becomes greater than the fear of the change I’m stepping into.
I’m not sure either side—head or heart—will ever completely win this battle. My guess is I will continue to let the two engage in their game of virtual pingpong.
The challenge is to listen to each side.
Hear them out. But don’t get too sucked into the fear of the mind, or the fantasy of the heart.
Find the middle ground that feels good and stretches you.
Ask for guidance. Listen for answers. And trust them when they come, even if they push you outside your comfort zone.
Do your heart and head ever battle?
How do you handle it? Please post a comment and share!