The Power of Knowing WHO You Are

I “should” be sitting in a conference right now.

I am not. I’m in my hotel room writing this blog post. And after that, we’re heading home. It’s the first time EVER I have left a conference early. I am one of those people who never misses a session. I might “miss” something important that I need to know. Maybe you can relate.

As entrepreneurs we are bombarded with information and systems and ways to make money and ways to market, and very often feel we HAVE to absorb all of it. What if the ONE thing I miss is the ONE thing I need to make it big? The fear of missing out is huge. Unfortunately, what it usually leads to is overwhelm, fragmentation, and less success.

As I often say, becoming more successful is usually more about letting things go than taking things on.

In fact, yesterday, one of the speakers at this event (who runs a 100 million dollar company by the way and was sharing a few of his secrets to success) said the way to grow your business is to start saying “no” more. Learn to focus. Know that if you take on something new, it has to be more powerful than what you’re already doing, because you’re going to have to let something go to make room.

Many of us don’t do that. We don’t let something go to make room for the new.

We just keep piling it on. Until we’re so busy running around in a million directions, trying to do it all, that our business suffers instead of growing. I speak from experience. It happened to me last year. And it ran my successful 6-figure business into the ground.

In December and January I went through a process to get clear about WHO I was and WHAT was most important to me in my business. And I designed a “filter” that I now use to know what to say yes to and what to say no to. It not only saved my business and got me back up to 6 figures in less than a year, it also now makes it very easy for me to know how to spend my time and NOT feel like I am missing out on anything.

So that’s why I’m sitting in my hotel room writing this blog post to share with you.

And heading home after that (truth be told I think we’ll go enjoy this city and have some fun for a few hours before we hit the road), because I know that this conference is not in line with WHO I am and where I’m going in my business.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a bad conference.

There’s lots of great people and great information being shared here, it’s just not in line with where I’m going in my business right now. It’s not my focus. So sitting here one more day, just because I paid to be here, because I think I might miss that ONE thing that’s going to take my business to the next level, is crazy. I’ve already gotten what I need from being here two days. And to be honest, much of that is clarity.

Yes, I learned a few things that I can take back and use in my business, but the more important thing I’m taking away from this conference is more clarity about who I am and what I do.

The contrast of being in an environment with a bunch of people who are doing what I am very clear I DON’T want to be doing provided that clarity.

Contrast is good.

Finding out what we don’t want is just as important as finding out what we do want. In fact, it’s often the easiest way to find out what we DO want.

About Debbie

Debbie worked in marketing for 32 years and ran a successful coaching and consulting business for 19. Now she helps people find greater happiness and success by learning how to Follow Inspiration.

20 comments on “The Power of Knowing WHO You Are

  1. Debbie,

    You hit exactly on the point where I am presently in my business. My head is swirling with info gleaned from so-o-o many teleseminars, ebooks, blog posts, and networking on and offline, not only about my genre and internet marketing but also about raising my energy and clearing my chakras. Whew! The resulting overwhelm and fragmentation diminishes my energy, confidence and of course, lessens my chance for success.

    Ironically, the point you make about the importance of saying “no” is one of the key points of my book and coaching to others. Now I have had to take my own advice.

    It’s critical to remember the speaker’s point that taking on anything new means letting go of something we’re already doing. The new must be more powerful or else we end up going backwards.

    After much self-assessment, masterminding, and soul-searching I’ve come up with my filters through which I process new information and ideas. Part my process is also unsubscribing from many great newsletters that I no longer need at this point. I’m also resigning from two boards where the need for my participation has been minimal, but the knowledge of my duties hovers in the back of my head.

    Thanks for sharing also that we don’t have to stay to the end of a conference or anything else for that matter. My friend and author of “Refuse to Choose” makes a strong case for the fact that whenever we get what we need from a book or conference, we HAVE finished. It’s Ok at that point to put the book down or leave the conference.

    The sooner we come to these realizations, the lighter we feel and the more successful we become.

  2. Debbie – Another great post and I could not agree more! Saying no makes room for other (more suited) yeses. Learning to say no is a skill that requires practice, like so many other important things.

  3. I have been going through a similar but smaller process myself over the last few months and have also decided to acknowledge the volume of useful information and contacts I have made over the last year but also to acknowledge that what I really need to do right now is unsubscribe from the 90% of newsletters that even they are great and interesting and so on, are not what I really need at the moment and also to delete 90% of the free ebooks, teleseminars etc which also played their part when needed but which I now feel are cluttering up my computer and my brain. I just need to get on with being me and growing my business accordingly. HOwever Debbie – you talk a lot of common sense and are still on my list. I follow you with great interest. Many Thanks, Susan

  4. I can relate to your experience, Debbie. While I was writing my book, I tapped into different resources to learn how to grow a business. I attended three-day conferences, and there was one time where I felt saturated from information overload. It had nothing to do with anyone else; it was just too much in too short of a time and it left me feeling paralyzed about how to move forward in my business. What I’ve learned to do is learn what I need to know for where I am at in my business. I research expertise in the area that I need and I follow them to see if their values align with mine. Too much information too fast and too soon can be overwhelming and can be discouraging. The reason I wanted to start a business and author my book, Expect Success – Be Unstoppable, A Woman’s Secret Recipe was to help others and make a difference…and have fun too! It sounds like you recognized you would have more fun hanging out with Louie and enjoying the city. Safe travels.

  5. I have said no, alot more now that I know a little more and I am finally getting my focus where it needs to be… good to know I am not the only one who has those type of business values to make it happen, and thanks again Debbie. Frank

  6. You are so BRAVE Debbie! I’m defintely one of those people who can’t miss a thing and has followed some “guru” down a path that doesn’t always serve me. Lately I’ve been pulling back because it’s been too much. With your help and others I’ve been better and running things thru my filter and listening to my intuition. Thanks for sharing!

  7. Thanks Debbie. I’ll share that I have recently left a mastermind group I was in for 6 months because I wasn’t getting what I thought I would from it. I’ve recently spoken to other members of the group that have told me they are disappointed in what they are getting from it and all are staying with the group.I know I made the right choice and have made the right decision in doing the Personalized Business Makeover Program. Have a safe drive home.

  8. Great post Debbie and sooo true. It’s way to easy to keep getting caught up in learning one more thing rather than focusing and putting it into your own mission/dream. We pretty much already know enough to get us to the next big step in our lives, we just need to stop searching long enough to take action.

    Thank you for opting out of the conference early to share this much needed insight!

    Wishing you all many blessings, Joyce OBrien

  9. Debbie –
    Great post, and right on, once again! You definitely offer laser clarity that keeps me subscribed to YOUR list, even as I join everyone here, it sounds like, in clearing out more and more of the clutter that can seem so important…and in the end doesn’t serve.
    SO thankful for your wisdom & friendship!

  10. Fabulous post, Debbie! ~ Before reading it, I had just made a decision NOT to attend three different conferences coming up in the next two weeks because I asked myself, “What would I truly gain?” And the answer I came up with was “more confusion.” So I said “No” – which now gives me the time and space to focus on what’s right in front of me. ~ Very timely post! Thank you!

  11. Hi Debbie,
    Thanks for the clarity. I still haven’t started my business as I felt I needed to gain as much knowledge from Seminars, teleseminars email newsletters and so the list goes on! To date I am so overwhelmed by the information I have gained I’m feeling ground down to a complete stand still.
    I am actually wondering who I am at the moment so thanks for your input on this topic. I always feel a sense of relief when I log onto your website and gain great comfort from you.
    A heartfelt thanks.
    Susan (U.K)

  12. Wow, it’s so great to hear all of your perspectives on this. Thank you so much for taking the time to share. And, I’m glad that my sharing honestly about where I found myself resonated with so many of you. (Always good to know you’re not the only one!)

    And just to follow up on how my story “ended.”

    Louie and I had an amazing day on Sunday. Our energy totally shifted once we made the decision not to attend the final day of the conference. And I did not feel guilty for ONE minute about NOT being at the conference for the final day. And I credit my clarity for that.

    We left Scottsdale feeling energized and knowing we got exactly what we needed from being there. And we came home energized to move forward on OUR paths with total confidence.

    Letting go is often hard, but when you are able to, the rewards come flowing in.

    Thanks again for sharing, and for giving me the opportunity to do the same!


  13. I learned this lesson in the last year, too, Debbie. “Living simply” has been a motto for me and it’s in line with “letting go.” I say it when I’m making decisions from how many times I should check my email in a day to how many people I’m planning to see over the weekend. It keeps me decluttered and able to be more present in the moment when I don’t make things more complicated than they need to be. This type of “letting go” also allows me to actually hear what my intuition is trying to say when I’m searching for an answer or inspiration! Thanks for the article!

  14. Gr8 post! Thanks for sharing! I was just having a conversation about clarity today witha coaching group and then came across your post. I still am amazed how “thoughts” and “actions” attract outside resources/examples/grace.

  15. Debbie, just signed up for your list and listened to the videos on your different pages, and it’s a breath of fresh air and great support for what I’ve been figuring out for a while now. As I hone my marketing and clarify my brand, it’s way too easy to sign up for every business coach/guru’s list, watch a gazillion videos, download a bunch of low-cost home study programs. YIKES — it all adds up to a messy head and doesn’t necessarily promote me taking the action steps that will get me connecting with potential clients! I’m grateful I found my way here…look forward to some good conversation and truly supportive input.

  16. Sharon,

    Welcome and I’m SO glad you’re here!

    Yes, isn’t it frustrating when you buy into all the promises and they just don’t deliver. You end up overwhelmed and more lost than ever.

    It’s so freeing when you get clear about WHO you are, and maybe more importantly, WHO you are NOT! Then it’s just about finding what “fits” you.

    I too look forward to some good conversation.

    Debbie 🙂

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